How do I Love Thee?

September 8, 2007 at 7:39 am (Love, Relationships, Second Life, Sex)

Love seems a prevalent theme in my blog posts; my curiosity about the innerworkings of relationships spans from the grid of Second Life to the grind of real life. And, in my effort to deconstruct how the fabric of our relationships is sown together, I’ve learned much about how men and women believe, behave, and befriend. However, one of the questions posed to me recently had me befuddled. How do you keep the love alive in the setting of the virtual stage?

Well first I think the question itself deserves some exploration. What exactly does it mean to keep love alive? To me new love sizzles and sparks like an electric current, sending shockwaves from our brains to our balls (and the female equivalent). The sense of wonder and excitement elicited by new love truly gives one the feeling they’re always on edge. And the intoxicating brain chemical cocktail served during this phase is as potent as Kentucky moonshine on an empty stomach.

So what goes into keeping this edge as new romance settles into the comforts of a relationship? A really really really smart lover told me recently what he thought the recipe was for keeping the edge:

  • Find someone out of your league. To create a strong magnetic pull between you and your lover, find someone you think is unattainable and woo till the cows come home. If you feel lucky to have snagged him and he thinks himself fortunate to have landed you, well that’s enough of an attractive draw to keep you pining the days away and coming back for more .
  • Try harder. When passions begin to fade, my loverboy suggests you inject your romance with a little humor and wit. Dig deep to find just what will penetrate your partner’s shell and pull them along. Learn what they like and make references to those things when they least expect it. And scour the romance novels and Shakespearean literature to find different ways to tell them you care about them. [For more on the notion of “trying harder,” see my blog post Try Just a Little Bit Harder].
  • Own your own shit. None of us is perfect so do your part and take responsibility for your role in the messy parts. Toss around with your partner ideas on how to make things better. Never be satisfied until you reach full agreement on a sticky issue. And don’t ever go to bed angry with your lover. That’s only bound to let frustrations fester and resentments remain.

Now if you follow this prescription, does that mean you’ll be walking down the path of bliss with your partner for the rest of eternity? Hardly. If I had the recipe for that elixir, I’d be sunning myself on a beach in St. Lucia while letting the royalties role in. But I do think there is something to be said for making the effort to keep the sizzle and the spark alive for as long as possible.

AN OPEN INVITATION: A friend recently suggested I open my blog up for others to submit posts on topics they found interesting or worth exploring. I concur. So here it is: the broad invitation to get a taste of blog fever. Got an idea just itching to find an audience? Send it to me and I’ll post it here as a guest blog! C’mon…it won’t kill ya!

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